he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
