Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
