fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
