She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize