Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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