I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
