when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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