piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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