He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
