can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
