her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
