even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
