Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
