Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
