Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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