I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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