i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
