we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize