yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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