i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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