Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
