oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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