why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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