i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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