it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
