I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
