Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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