Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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