Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
