just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
