If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
