Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
