Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
