Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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