i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
