im six kinds of drunk right now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
