i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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