Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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