So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
