oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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