was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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