Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
