M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
