I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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