I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
accomplished twins. life is a go
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
