his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
