I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am available for nakedness
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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