I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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