but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This baby is an asshole
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
