Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
