Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
