I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I need to sanitize my soul.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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