AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
