you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
