I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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