Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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