I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
