Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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