Farmville is her only friend.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
