i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the day after is always just damage control
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
