He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You made out with two different species that night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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